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The Gender Gap

ask an expert: decoratingcanada (May.11.10)

   


I am having a huge problem decorating my house. My husband has really masculine taste, while love feminine décor. Do you have any suggestions that will satisfy both of us? 

Claire G. emailed us at expert@sweetspot.ca, and SweetHome expert, Kimberley Seldon, answered;

It happens in even great marriages that “his” taste is vastly different from “her” taste. In fact, it’s his masculinity that attracted you to him in the first place, right? So the goal shouldn’t be to make him more like you. Rather than focus on what you can’t agree on, let’s create a dialogue for what you can agree on. Here’s your couples-who-decorate homework assignment:

  1. Find a comfortable spot to sit together and spend about half an hour perusing design magazines.

  2. Each of you will decide which rooms appeal to you most. Tear out the photos of the interiors you love. He’ll pick some and you’ll pick some. Don’t panic if the rooms you select are different in appearance and style from one another. Keep in mind, these photos should exemplify the mood and feeling each of you wants your newly decorated room to embody.

  3. Lay out all the photos on a table in front of you both. Examine each photo as a team and find the areas of overlap or the common denominators. Maybe you both love natural wood, charcoal grey and Persian carpets. If so, you have a lot to agree on now. Conversely, maybe you both hate clutter so there’s another factor you see eye-to-eye on.

  4. Take a closer look at the elements you seem to disagree on. Let’s say that he’s really keen to have a leather sofa while you prefer a softer chenille or velvet fabric. Isn’t it possible that you can have both fabrics in the same room? He gets his leather sofa and you get two cosy armchairs in chenille. See if you can find a way to compromise on other elements where you are not in sync.

  5. Finally, there may be a couple of items you just can’t seem to compromise on. He wants a 52” big screen TV over the fireplace and you long for an original piece of artwork there. After agreeing on so much, isn’t it likely you will be able to find a compromise that makes you both happy? Think outside the box. Is there another spot where you can hang a painting or a different room where the TV makes more sense? Perhaps you can sacrifice a ”gift wrap room” in the basement in order to provide him with a “home theatre” ?

Decorating a home is a demanding, time consuming and complicated process. Working together as a team makes the process so much more enjoyable.

Kimberley Seldon is a vibrant presence in the world of design. She appears regularly on the Home Shopping Network (HSN) in the United States with her own line of Home Décor Products, Kimberley Seldon Home. Kimberley is Decorating Editor of Canada’s Style at Home magazine and author of “500 Ideas for Small Spaces”.

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