How can I screen on a first date without looking like I am?
Jessica M. emailed us at asktheexpert@sweetspot.ca ; and our dating and singles expert, Lori Miller, answered:
You can get to know your date by asking a few simple questions and sharing information that will help you both assess whether you are looking for the same type of relationship or experience, without asking too much. Keep the flow smooth and easy and try to ask questions as they pertain to the topic of conversation. For example “What are your favorite restaurants or hangouts in the area?” “What kind of work do you do?” “What is your dream job?” “What are your interests and hobbies outside your profession?” “What are you looking for from your dating experience?”
Asking these more general questions will help you understand a little bit more about their personality and interests without getting too personal. Questions to avoid asking or answering would be things like “Where do you work or live?” We also recommend you don’t give out too much personal information until you get to know someone better and really feel you have a connection.
In dating as in everyday life, your intuition and gut feelings are two excellent resources that you have at your disposal, so listen to your instincts when meeting someone new. Warning bells should ring loudly if your date:
- Asks to borrow money
- Asks you to do big favors for them
- Appears overly secretive about their life
Just remember to be yourself and try to have some fun. This isn’t rocket science, although sometimes dating feels like it. Enjoy the ride and the experience of meeting new people in your area. And if it doesn’t seem like you are connecting 100%, remember there are thousands of other singles out there waiting to meet someone!
Lori Miller holds a double Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and Sociology and is Lavalife’s resident expert on dating and singles; for more advice on dating visit www.click.lavalife.com