About Sales Director
Jenn Price does not proclaim to be an expert on dating…but her years of practice (and willingness to share stories) will certainly get people talking. Join in the dialogue each week as Jenn tackles matters of the heart.
I’m lucky. Moms like me.
Ever since I was young, I’ve never met a mom of a friend or a boyfriend that didn’t. I’m grateful for this because from what I hear, if a guy’s mom doesn’t like the girl in his life, it can drive a huge wedge between the couple. (Think Monster-In-Law, the film where Jane Fonda plays a mom that hates her soon-to-be daughter-in-law, played by Jennifer Lopez, and seeks to make her life a living hell so that she’ll call the wedding off.)
Genuinely befriending a boyfriend’s mom offers the opportunity for a rare relationship, one that can be complementary in nature to your relationship with your own mom, and one that offers a different perspective on the man in your life. (Sometimes this is a great thing, but it can also show you the ugly truth!)
There are a few downfalls when it comes to befriending the Mom. If you break up with the guy: can you / should you / do you remain friends?
My first experience with this happened in my teens. Then again in my twenties, and yet again in my post-twenties. After the break-ups, all of these moms confessed to me they were heart-broken when their sons and I broke up, and that they loved me like a daughter. One even admitted to me that while she loved her son dearly, he had a lot of maturing to do, and wasn’t ready for a ‘woman.’ (He’s now married with a baby, so I’d like to think that my relationship with him helped prepare him for that!)
As if break ups aren’t painful enough, when you’re in the thick of the grief and emotion of it all, the thought of severing the relationship with his mother can be just as heart-wrenching. Yet, keeping it going can prove to be just as difficult. Consistent contact with an ex’s mom can keep the feelings of loss fresh, and can even infuse false feelings of hope that it might work out in the future (even if you know in your heart, it’s just not meant to be). And, one has to wonder, how does the guy feel about this friendship?
Don’t think that this isn’t a common issue. Celebrities also deal with the great mom debate. Look at Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt’s mom, Jane. She is said to have preferred Jen over Angelina … I’m sure that must have contributed to confused emotions for all three of them. And, Gisele Bundchen reportedly asked Leonardo DiCaprio’s mom, Irmelin, to be her baby’s godmother. How would Tom Brady feel about that?
I have a rule when it comes to dating (and life in general). Whether it’s before the relationship is defined or after it’s ended, I strive to not do anything I wouldn’t be comfortable with if the situation were reversed. So, from there, some of my friendships with my ex’s moms have ended.
As with every past relationship – with boyfriends, their mothers and everyone that I’m no longer in touch with, they provided a reason or a season, and I’m grateful for that.
How do you feel about remaining friends with your ex’s mom?