About Sales Director
Jenn Price does not proclaim to be an expert on dating…but her years of practice (and willingness to share stories) will certainly get people talking. Join in the dialogue each week as Jenn tackles matters of the heart.
Is a lie at the beginning of a relationship a deal breaker?
I say yes. If a guy lies about a subject that will become an important one if your relationship turns into a partnership, such as another girl, money, having a kid, his job (or perhaps lack thereof), this sets the stage for future lies.
I believe that in any relationship, difficult situations can be resolved (assuming the relationship is worth it), as long as both parties are being honest. If two people are dealing with factual information, appropriate decisions can be made. Once one person mucks it up with a lie, it is impossible to see things clearly.
I was once in the early stages of a relationship with a guy that I thought was good for me. Something in me told me to take it slow, build a foundation and really get to know him before jumping into something serious. (Turns out, I’m glad I listened to my gut.)
One evening, I saw him for an early drink and then left to attend another engagement. Later that night, I received a phone call from a random girl claiming that she was in a cab with said guy and that he was so drunk, she didn’t know what to do with him. She said she found my number in his phone and wanted my advice. Baffled, I suggested she take the cab to her stop, get out, and leave him to deal with his own problems.
The next day I called him to see what he’d say. First, he claimed it was a phantom call (when your phone isn’t locked and calls a number by mistake). Then, he said it was a joke. Next, that the girl was trying to make him mad. Then, he said he didn’t know about the call and he had a bad reaction to ginseng mixed with alcohol. Finally, he said he was confused and didn’t know how to explain things to me.
I wasn’t as fussed about him picking up some random girl on the same night that we had a short yet sweet date, as I was about him lying to me. If someone lies so flippantly, (and comes up with such lame lies) then what’s to come later on? I told him it wouldn’t work out and deleted him from my phone.
Had he just been up front with me and given both of us a chance to deal with the truth, we might have been able to make a go of it. As the old saying goes, “honesty is the best policy" - and I subscribe to that.
What is your take on lying? Do you think I was too harsh or would you have done the same thing?