About Sales Director
Jenn Price does not proclaim to be an expert on dating…but her years of practice (and willingness to share stories) will certainly get people talking. Join in the dialogue each week as Jenn tackles matters of the heart.
Universal colour coding for flags goes like this:
- Red = Danger
- Amber = Caution
- Green = Go
- White = Surrender
How many flags and which warning signs denote a dating deal breaker?
(This post coincides with the release of a new book called The Red Flag Rule Book by Cheryl Anne Meyer and Tara Landon. I haven’t read their book yet, but I’m interested to see how aligned we are in our thinking.)
What constitutes a red, amber or green flag differs from girl to girl. What is one girl’s green may be another's amber. For instance, if a guy has a big fluffy cat, a female cat-lover will view this as a bonus and allocate a big check mark to said guy. I, however, am incredibly allergic to cats, so this would raise an amber flag for me (and if the guy could never live without cats, then amber would morph to red pretty quickly).
I do think that there are some standard red flags that any girl would deem a big X against any guy. (I’m certain the same line of thinking applies to girls as well – flags don’t discriminate.)
Let’s make like Letterman and create a list of “Top 10 Dating Red Flags.” (I welcome your contributions – please leave them in comment area below.)
- He lies. (See last week’s post entitled Liar, Liar.)
- Body odour or poor hygiene: Not the faint smell of masculinity that arises after a workout and can be masked by deodorant.
- Violence or aggression: Not the kind that arises during the playing of contact sports such as hockey or football, if he lays a hand or makes a threat, move on right away.
- Jealousy: I say a reason a guy is innately jealous is because he’s likely untrustworthy.
- Lack of common sense: One of my favourite lines in business is “you can’t fix stupid” and this applies to dating as well, no matter how hot he may be.
- Unbalanced expectations: Say you make more money than him, and he constantly expects you to foot the bill, or he has terrible credit and expects to have access to your plastic.
- Overly and overtly flirtatious: Sure, there are many attractive people to look at but it is simply disrespectful and kind of creepy for a guy to ogle and swoon over another girl while graced with your presence.
- Negative or pessimistic: Glass is half-empty, judgmental - these are signs of anger and/or unresolved baggage.
- Needy or clingy: Someone that wants/demands all of your spare time or gives a guilt trip if you just don’t have enough time for him will only squash your sense of individuality (if you let him).
- SWEETSPOTTER’S CHOICE: Leave a comment below with your picks!
I can't say that there's a rule for if or when a red flag should spell the end of a courtship, other than to listen to that little inner voice. The louder she gets, the faster the end should come.
What are your red flags? Leave a comment below!