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Jenn Price does not proclaim to be an expert on dating…but her years of practice (and willingness to share stories) will certainly get people talking. Join in the dialogue each week as Jenn tackles matters of the heart.

Absence Makes the Heart...

price of love canada (Jun.08.10)    


It’s been said that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” However, it has also been said that, “absence makes the heart grow fungus" (according to The Barenaked Ladies). What’s been your experience? 

Like anything in life, if nurtured, it grows. If smothered, it suffocates and dies. If neglected, it shrivels up and disappears. There’s a fine line between too much, too little and just enough. (Remember Goldilocks?)

As if relationships within close proximity weren’t work enough, factor in hundreds or thousands of miles and things can get sticky pretty quickly. Long distance adds another layer to the equation. At the end of the day, distance is not sustainable. At some point, one or both parties will have to make a move. In the meantime, the space between you can definitely make for a fun transition into couplehood. There’s something sexy about missing and craving your partner.

Growing up, I had long distance relationships well into my 20s. I learned to trick my mind and my heart into compartmentalizing my relationships from the rest of my life. (Perhaps this is why into my 30s, I have been able to focus on my career without freaking out that I’m still single.)

I do want to settle down but with the right person, not because societal standards dictate that it’s the right time. I’ve waited this long, I’m not going to settle for less than the relationship that feels just right. This also means that I’m not going to be scared off by obstacles such as distance or let the potential Mr.Right pass me by because of a few (thousand) miles.

One of my best girlfriends married a guy that lives three hours away. Their entire courtship was long distance. Now that they’re married, they are writing their own rules and doing what works for them. The constant variables of a long distance love are the same as any relationship: trust, honesty, communication, understanding, acceptance, patience, laughter and valuing time together.

In the end, the commitment we make is a choice. We can't always choose who we fall in love with, but we can choose whether we invest ourselves in a relationship or not.

I believe life has a funny way of working things out. If we focus on the feelings we want and the end result we desire, then we can rest assured that the "hows" and the "whens" will figure themselves out, and all we have to do is drop the oars and enjoy the ride.

Would you deny yourself the opportunity to build a life with a true love just because the obstacle of distance exists when the romance first ignites?  What’s been your experience with long distance love?





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