About Sales Director
Jenn Price does not proclaim to be an expert on dating…but her years of practice (and willingness to share stories) will certainly get people talking. Join in the dialogue each week as Jenn tackles matters of the heart.
Have you ever been with a guy where things are just so smooth that you never fight? Fighting can make or break a relationship and a lack of it can actually stunt it and lead to its demise.
I say fear not the fight, but pay darn close attention to the way it’s fought.
A heated discussion, even raised voices or slamming of cupboard doors is normal. Name-calling, and verbal jabs below the belt (and heaven forbid any forms of physical jabs) are not. Other indicators and elements of dirty fighting such as eye-rolling, belittlement in front of others or using a private delicate confession against a partner are definite red flags.
The way a couple argues can set the tone for happily ever after or apart.
I’ve been a part of a couple where the fights were nasty, degrading and disrespectful. We could push one another’s buttons without even knowing it. There were extreme highs and lows and not much in between. Needless to say, the volatility of the relationship caused it to end, and luckily we both escaped without any lasting damage. We are now in a place where we are friendly and genuinely care about each other. (We also admit we should have only ever been friends and never tried to make it more.)
That experience made me see how some women end up staying in abusive relationships. It takes a huge amount of inner strength, outward support from family and friends and ultimately blind faith to leave someone once you’ve invested in a relationship. I am thankful that I had all of those things and that I left when I did. Tremendous growth and self-love ensued.
On the flip side, I’ve also been in relationships where we just didn’t relate. We never had a heated discussion, differing opinions on what movie to watch or restaurant to eat at. We never had opposing political views, and all the agreement just made for a stale and stagnant experience. It was as if we were both too guarded and fake (and almost didn’t care enough) to rock the boat.
Without conflict (and subsequent resolution) how do two people really get to know each other inside and out?
What I tell myself is next time a conflict seems to be brewing, don’t be afraid of the fight. Embrace it and try to find the benefits of (tactfully) engaging in it. And, at the end of the day, try to find a resolution and not go to bed angry - a good night’s sleep will prevent round two in the morning.
What’s your stance on fighting? Bad news or totally necessary?