About Sales Director
Jenn Price does not proclaim to be an expert on dating…but her years of practice (and willingness to share stories) will certainly get people talking. Join in the dialogue each week as Jenn tackles matters of the heart.
You know you’re not right for each other and the disillusionment that it might work "if only this" or "only that" has passed. Yet, we often make the choice to prolong the inevitable and stay until we’re ready to deal with the end.
There’s a line in the film Shop Girl that has stuck with me through my break ups and those of my girlfriends. Mirabelle said to Ray, “I can either hurt now or hurt later," when she stopped giving into her temptation and addiction to this older man with whom she knew she didn’t have a future.
Looking back, whenever I stayed, I can't see how it helped in the long run. I just simply wasn’t ready to deal with the pain. There was always a certain moment when I knew things were over. Any time spent with a guy between then and the final break-up, ended up causing more anxiety than comfort.
I was once asked to stay in a relationship over the holidays, because it would have been too lonely for my ex to go through it alone. We both ended up putting on a façade for family and friends and we grew to resent each other and argue more than ever. The eventual breakup ended up being nastier than if I’d just listened to myself and left before the holidays.
I once dated a guy that told me he had stayed with his ex for 6 months longer than he wanted to because she had a death in her family. When I asked him if she requested that he stay until she was stronger (which would have made sense to me) he told me that she hadn't. It was over, he just thought it would be too much for her to handle all at once. In my opinion, he did it more for him than her, because when he finally did end things, she had to grieve all over again and the feelings of loss brought back more painful memories of the death.
It’s a tough call. Whether you’re the one ending it or having the carpet pulled from under you, severing ties with someone significant in your life is painful; there’s no right or wrong. Sometimes it’s less painful to rip the band-aid off with all the hair in one stinging swoop, and sometimes it’s slightly easier to peel it back bit by bit, bracing the pain and enduring it because it’s steadier and (seemingly) more controllable.
Have you ever stayed with someone longer than you wanted to out of pity? Have you ever prolonged a break up and asked someone to stay with you to help you through a difficult time?