About Sales Director
Jenn Price does not proclaim to be an expert on dating…but her years of practice (and willingness to share stories) will certainly get people talking. Join in the dialogue each week as Jenn tackles matters of the heart.
Routine or Rut?
price of love canada
(Oct.26.10)
I'm lucky. My boyfriend recognizes when we need some time to break away from the everyday routines or stresses that sometimes occur in life. Our ideas of home time don't always align, so getting out of a routine from time to time, helps prevent us from slipping into a rut.
I remember when a girlfriend of mine was stuck in an uncomfortable situation with her guy of six months. At what I consider to be a pivotal time in the relationship, she was questioning if he was the right one for her because she and he had different ideas of what their dating time was all about.
He's a sports-loving homebody and she’s a culinary connoisseur. (One of the reasons she’s such a great cook is that she’s inspired by the variety she experiences when dining out.)
All signs said that they were in definite “like” with each other and on their way to “love.” The only problem? Their routine consisted of what he wanted to do, which meant staying in. (She, unbeknownst to him, wanted to get out of the house a few times per week.) A typical night together meant going to his place, where he watched a game while she prepared a delicious gourmet meal. (They both fed their passions, yet she often felt disappointed.)
I once dated a guy that just wanted to do the stay-home-and-watch-a-movie routine, and never made the effort to take me out. It ended when I brought it up to him (and also learned there was someone else in the picture).
I practiced tough love with my friend and told her that she had helped create the routine and rut. In fairness to her guy, she kept showing up with a smile (and feeding him well). Of course he wouldn't know she craved more. So, she mustered up the courage to share what was on her mind (and put aside the fear that she’d come across as being needy). He reacted more favourably than she anticipated.
I always say that communication is key. Sometimes a man likes to (and needs to) be led (in a gentle, non-threatening way, of course). She worked up the courage to talk to him about it and they will now be able to do different things (and evaluate if they are truly compatible in the meantime).
Do you think the pursuit of a relationship is pointless if a man doesn’t "get" you from your first date?