About Sales Director
Jenn Price does not proclaim to be an expert on dating…but her years of practice (and willingness to share stories) will certainly get people talking. Join in the dialogue each week as Jenn tackles matters of the heart.
Eye Spy
price of love: spying canada
(Feb.08.11)
Is it ever OK to spy on your guy?
If you’ve ever been suspicious about something or second-guessed your partner’s explanation, chances are you’ve been tempted to spy with your little eye, in one way or another.
One of my girlfriends innocently opened up what she thought was her email account, but the browser automatically logged her into her boyfriend’s. Rather than close it right away, curiosity got the better of her when she saw an email from his ex. What she found was unsettling; he had expressed that he still had feelings for this ex in one of the emails. Luckily, it didn't go further than that.
As a result, she became obsessed with checking his email, waiting to catch him. I advised her to come clean about what had happened, and then based on his reaction, she could decide whether or not she could live with what she had found out. I suggested that at all costs, she needed to stop reading his email. Sooner or later, she either won’t be able to stand it or he would find out and their relationship would be over. If she couldn’t trust him, they didn’t have a future. (I’m happy to report that things worked out and they are now engaged.)
It does go both ways. I know a guy that got dumped because he read his girlfriend’s text messages and accused her of carrying on with someone behind his back. It turns out she stopped trusting him, and he lost her. (He later confirmed that there was never anything going on in the first place and he has been kicking himself ever since.)
When I was a teenager, I remember spying on my high school boyfriend with a friend of mine (who was dating one of his friends). We followed them to a strip club (after they told us they were going to watch the hockey game). For some reason, we had a sneaking suspicion that they were going to Solid Gold and not to the rink. I don’t know what was worse: being lied to or feeling foolish for spying. Let’s just say I never did anything like that again. I’ve always trusted that my intuition would weed through the liars and lead me to the those that are true.
What’s been your experience with spying? Have you done it? Has someone spied on you?