I love to play games. Not of the drama-queen variety (although I have been known to play a few rounds of those as well in the past), but anything with a board, some moving pieces, and preferably a buzzer. Nothing more needs to happen in an evening with friends than a good dinner, and a round of Catch Phrase. (As evidenced by a rowdy Catch Phrase tete a tete at a girlfriend’s house this past week.)
So color me surprised that I did not take to poker. A couple friends of mine tried to teach me the revered card game a few weeks back, and I took to it like oil and water.
All these years of NOT playing built up a mystery for me that was somewhat of a letdown once I started learning how to play. As you get to know what a good hand actually is, the more you see this game is not as exciting as all the celebrity poker tournaments make it out to be. (Damn you Matt Damon...)
First, the pace is too slow. All this thinking and internal debating, paints an overly serious and morose picture. (All this equals to some serious buzz kill!) By nature, I am overt and loud, and find it very difficult to mask feelings of any kind, so to hold back excitement at the fact that I have three queens (“ooooh!”), is almost as unfeasible as not being lured by any combination of the words “shoe” and “sale”.
By nature, women should be able to champion any and all poker tables. After all, the fairer sex is anything but. Not to perpetrate further female stereotypes, bus us ladies can use our minds for both good and evil, usually without anyone being the wiser. But herein lies the rub. Most poker tables are populated by friends, and good ones at that. They know our moods, our facial expressions, our “tells”. (You like that poker-speak?) For me, there’s simply no joy in the faux mystique-ness of it all.....
Then of course comes the strategy. If wars (either the start or resolution thereof ), were ever to depend on my ability to come up with and implement strategies, hello end of the world! While I can strategize in theory, executing different strategies at different points in the game does not bode well for someone whose impatience is the stuff of which legends are made. Case and point: All in, all the time. Where’s the excitement in folding?
Ring ring.... ‘This is Vegas calling. PLEASE come and play. Here are your free drinks.....’