2012 Resolutions

I’m an uncle! My sister – my little sister – had a baby. That is an odd statement to type. I’ve always pictured my little sister as the petulant teenager who disagreed with my television choices.

“No, we’re not watching Blossom again.”

She actually hasn’t been a teenager (or petulant) for over a decade. And now she’s a mom. Woah. Which means I’m an uncle. That’s pretty cool. There’s this new member of my extended family. My niece. My daughter’s cousin.

(Did you catch the subtle Blossom reference?)

I’m an uncle. I was a father before I was an uncle. Becoming a father is a major life altering change. You feel different when you enter fatherhood. Becoming an uncle is not a seismic life shift. You wake up one morning and suddenly you’re an uncle. There’s nothing new expected of you. People don’t congratulate someone for becoming an uncle like they do when you become a father.

Uncle is one of those easily inherited titles that come with no true power or accountability like Duke of Cambridge or King of Pop or Master’s Degree in English.

I’ve only been an uncle for a month, but so far it’s rather easy. There’s none of the guilt or responsibility associated with parenting because it’s not parenting. It’s uncle-ing.

Now, I can be the irresponsible influence. I can undo my sister’s parenting. I can spoil. I can give sugar-highs and walk away. I’m not Spider-man, with an uncle’s power comes no responsibility.

Uncle-ing means that you don’t have to change diapers or wipe spit up or deal with discipline issues.

Uncle-ing means that I can buy toys for my niece that I would never ever buy for my daughter. Toys that make loud noises, have flashing lights, require half-a-dozen AA batteries. Toys that parents hate. Toys that only an uncle would buy.

Uncle-ing means that ice cream is acceptable for dinner.

They’ve never published a What to Expect When You’re an Uncle because there’s no market for it. Uncles aren’t looking for self-help books to guide them through uncle-hood. Uncle-hood is simple.

As an uncle I can ignore all my parenting instincts. I’m not responsible for this child. My sister is.

I’m just the uncle.