How did my daughter learn to blow her nose? To hold a cellphone to her ear and talk? Or to leave items on the floor for my wife to pick up? To paraphrase a classic 1980s anti-drug public service ad “I learned it from you, Dad! I learned it from watching you!”
My little monkey is a copycat; she apes everything her parents do. (Bonus points for that double simian simile).
It’s cute. You do something. Wait a beat. And then she’ll try to repeat the action.
She can’t perfectly mimic it, but she does her best. She’s like a little Christian Slater to my Jack Nicholson. I dance with the devil in the pale moonlight, she follows suit. Or more likely, I stick out my tongue, she sticks out her tongue.
But it goes beyond simple facial mimicry. She watches how my wife and I act. She’s learning.
Toddlers are little behavioural sponges. They soak up your actions and then squeeze the dirty, soapy results back at you. Okay, I may have taken the sponge metaphor too far. But the point is toddlers mimic your behaviour – the good and the bad.
To reference Jack Nicholson again, having a little girl that’s looking up to you that’s modeling herself after you, that makes you want to be a better man. That’s from As Good As It Gets, if you’re keeping track.
As my wife often reminds me, my manners need polishing. And as we both want our daughter to be a well-mannered little girl I’ve been trying to be better about saying things like “yes please” and “thank you.” Because our daughter’s paying attention more that we think. And sure enough, my daughter’s begun to say “yes please.” Only it sounds like “yez peas.”
Of course my wife also swears like a truck driver/sailor. It’s not pretty. It’s often like a taping of Def Comedy Jam in our house. So when I casually mentioned to my wife that she should curb her language because the toddler was listening. Well, my logic was infallible. Suggesting it to my wife was not. She couldn’t handle the truth. (A Few Good Men – Okay last Jack Nicholson reference).
“Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t work with toddlers; I tried to explain to my wife.
One apology and one swear jar later. We both improved ourselves for our little girl. She looks up to us and we’re her parents. We have to set a good example for her follow. She’s imitating us, and I guess we should be flattered. Though, she also imitates the dog.
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