I recently bought a book called The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I've seen this computer science professor featured on Oprah and his famous lecture called "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" has gotten almost 10 million hits on YouTube. At the time Randy was asked to give this lecture, he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He decided he didn't want to talk about dying, but instead focus on "the importance of overcoming obstacles, enabling the dreams of others and seizing every moment."
The book is filled with many teachable and inspirational life lessons. But the one that really stuck with me was when Randy wrote, "Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The Brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people."
We've all faced brick walls in our lives. Did you ever think someone was your soul mate but somehow they didn't get the memo? Were you the only person who thought you were the perfect candidate for a promotion? I know that for many couples, infertility is a big brick wall. These obstacles are not presented to us to create a world full of Atheists. They're there to test us and see how much value we really put on something.
The miscarriage I had last year created my current brick wall. I've been going back and forth on whether or not to have another baby. My son is almost three and we've got a good thing going. I can easily make a case to throw in the towel and embrace my fabulous family of four. (If my dog didn't have eight nipples, she'd be considered a human being. So she counts). But I become torn when I think about the idea of my son growing up alone. Is it fair of me to expect him to wipe my drool and change my diaper without the help of a sibling? A friend of mine who has three kids once told me "You'll know when you're ready to stop having kids. If there's part of you that's still thinking about it, you're not ready to walk away." I guess I'm not ready to "give up" just yet. I still have some fight left in me.
If you're facing a brick wall in your life right now, you have a decision to make. Are you going to do whatever it takes to break through it, or are you going to let it stop you in your tracks? If you choose to let it stop you, that's fine. But be okay with the fact that you didn't really want it that badly. Accept this and move on. If you think it's worth pursuing, put your protective gear on. You may get bumped and bruised along the way. But when you finally win, it'll have been worth the fight.
After becoming a mom three years ago, Carly Cooper noticed many mothers struggling with guilty feelings, unrealistic expectations and the inability to balance it all. This inspired her to become a certified Life Coach for Moms and create www.balance-the-mother-load.com. Check back weekly to read her funny and honest views about the good, the bad and the hormonal sides of motherhood.