About Carly Cooper
A certified Life Coach for Moms and creator of www.balance-the-mother-load.com, Carly Cooper’s blog offers helpful strategies for mothers struggling with guilt, unrealistic expectations and the inability to balance it all – with a generous dose of laughter.
'Cause You Gotta Have Friends
balance the mother load canada
(Aug.11.09)
It absolutely amazes me how friendly my son is. He's the type of kid who will approach anyone, no matter what their age, get up in their face and say, "Hi, I'm Jack. What's your name?" Some kids are receptive and will answer him back while others just stare at him terrified, like he just told them that there was a drive by shooting on Sesame Street. It breaks my heart to see him get rejected like this. But I do find comfort in the fact that if all else fails and he doesn't land the corner office in some swanky firm, he can always be the greeter at Wal-Mart.
The other day, we had some friends come up to visit us at camp and they brought their two kids. The minute our boys locked eyes, it was instant love. Because it was the first sunny day we had in over a week, we decided to go on a boat ride. I don't know if it was the speed of the boat or the cool spray of the water but our boys were giddy like 2 toddlers in a ski boat. They were holding hands, kissing on the lips and telling each other, "I love you." "I love you more." I felt like I was watching footage from the Gay Pride Parade. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Whether our kids remain friends or not, they experienced what it feels like to have an instant connection with someone. And that's an incredible gift.
Friends, I'm lucky to know what that connection feels like. I've always had a lot of wonderful, fun and supportive friends around me. And they each have a different purpose in my life. Some are like sisters who I share my deepest secrets with. While others don't even know that I colour my hair. Let's face it, we all have friends who love to spread gossip faster than a California brush fire. The less they know, the better.
As I entered my 30's and became a mom, I often said, "I don't need any more friends." I mean really -- who has the time or energy to meet new people and catch them up on all my neurosis? But what I've come to realize is that as life evolves, so do friendships. The best friend you had in high school who held your hair back while you puked Peach Schnapps at prom may not end up at your wedding.
People take different paths and don't always end up on the same journey. It's okay to let relationships fizzle if they no longer serve you. But nurture your quality friendships. Appreciate each other and get in touch often. Open yourself up to meet new people. If you're feeling shy and don't know how to break the ice, I'm willing to rent out my son out for a small fee.
I'm also willing to lend an online shoulder. Starting next week, I'll be taking your real life questions and answering them here in this space. Feel free to leave it in the comments below or email me at expert@sweetspot.ca.
*Editor's Note: Photo in context: The Sweetspot team are the sweetest friends (taken at our holiday party last year).
After becoming a mom three years ago, Carly Cooper noticed many mothers struggling with guilty feelings, unrealistic expectations and the inability to balance it all. This inspired her to become a certified Life Coach for Moms and create www.balance-the-mother-load.com. Check back weekly to read her funny and honest views about the good, the bad and the hormonal sides of motherhood.