With all the choices we are presented with in life, it’s hard to know what we do out of love or obligation. Are you making decisions based on what you want to do or what you think you should do? Here’s a way to check in. If you’re feeling stressed out, overwhelmed or full of dread, chances are you are not living by your true values. When you do things that you really believe in your actions are sincere, authentic and in alignment with who you truly are. These are the moments when you shine and are at your best.
So how do you know what your true values are? Write down your answers to these questions to find out.
1. What are some of your best qualities? What qualities do you most respect in others? Intelligence, generosity, fairness, confidence? Once you figure out what these characteristics are, make a conscious effort to incorporate them in your daily life.
2. What are some of your favorite childhood memories? What values do they reflect? How can you use these same values in your adult life? For example, I loved going to summer camp, hanging out with my friends and participating in all the plays and shows. I use these social skills in my life now when I’m meeting new people or networking. And because these skills have helped me in my life, it’s important to me to expose my son to as many people as I can and help him develop his creative side. Maybe you traveled as a child and loved to see new places and learn about new cultures. Write down your memories, the values they reflect and how you can use these values in your life today.
3. Think about how you want to be remembered. What haven’t you done yet that you’ve always wanted to do? You may notice that you’re living a predictable and routine life. Maybe it’s time to take bigger risks, nurture yourself more and really do what makes YOU happy.
4. What memories do you want to give your children? What do you want them to take away from their childhood? Think about what’s really important here. Is it necessary for them to always be neat and tidy or to have lived and experienced life to the fullest, mess and all? Write down all the values you want to instill in your child/ren and create a plan to make it happen.
5. How do you want your children to remember you? Always running from one thing to the next, stressed out and yelling at every little thing? Or feeling calm, happy and spending quality time with them. Do you want them to think of you as someone who was always at the beck and call or an independent woman who pursued her interests and passions? Your answers here will show you what you really value.
6. What are you doing to ensure a close relationship with your child/ren? Are you fully present when you spend time with them? Or are you busy carpooling and getting them from one activity to the next? Are you doing things that your kids are truly interested in or what you think is in their best interest?
7. If you have a spouse or partner, how do you two interact? What value are you putting on your relationship? Are you regularly going on dates and spending quality alone time together? Do you communicate? What kind of behaviours are your children observing? Take an honest look and vow to change whatever isn’t working.
8. What are you doing to fulfill your passions? Are you in a job to pay the bills or doing work that you love? Are you making time for yourself? What do you do for fun? What do you want to do more of in order to make you happy?
Life becomes more enjoyable when you do things that actually have meaning, so it’s important to check in with yourself to make sure you’re living by your values. You owe it to yourself and your family to live your life on purpose.