About Carly Cooper
A certified Life Coach for Moms and creator of www.balance-the-mother-load.com, Carly Cooper’s blog offers helpful strategies for mothers struggling with guilt, unrealistic expectations and the inability to balance it all – with a generous dose of laughter.
Go With Your Gut
balance the mother load canada
(Jan.20.10)
I've coached a lot of moms over the past few years and there seems to be some common concerns. Many moms feel guilty that they're not doing right by their kids. Or they stress over reaching certain milestones at a particular time.
One of the big topics that frequently comes up is when and how to potty train. This one hits close to home because my son is three and technically, we're in the healthy window when it could/should happen. I admit, I've felt the pressure to ditch the diapers. After all, I have friends who have successfully potty trained their kids at 18 months. But I also know the downside to rushing a child who isn't ready. What you get is a messy situation that could take months instead of days to master. The end result? Frustrated parents, a discouraged child and more outfit changes than the host of the Oscars.
Another thing moms stress about is sleep training. Decide what's important to you and what you can tolerate. I believe in routine and structure. That's how I thrive. So for me, it was important to get my son on a schedule. Not only would it benefit him but it gave me some predictability and therefore I could sort of plan my day. (And watch my must-see-TV at night). So as hard as it was to hear Jack cry, and later yell "Mommy, where are you?" I stuck to it. I have other clients and friends who aren't as regimented and feel confined by structure. They don't mind putting their kids to bed at different times. If that's how you roll and you feel like your child is happy and thriving, party at your house!
If you want to be a calm and balanced mom, you have to do what feels right for you. And if that means occasionally breaking away from the herd and risking being the black sheep of your group, don't baaaaaaack down.
If you spend your time obsessing over what others are doing and trying to do everything the "Know it all mom" tells you, you risk making yourself and your kids crazy. Use your judgment, sprinkle in some common sense and relax. You know your child/ren best. Just a word of advice.