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The Music in Me
drop-in centre canada
(Dec.11.09)
It was seven years ago that I lost the music in my life. My firstborn turned one. I went back to work and began the crazy balancing act that is modern motherhood: shuttling to daycare and back home, making dinner, changing diapers, soothing, feeding, bathing, not sleeping.
The soundtrack to my life then was Baby Beluga or the Itsy Bitsy Spider. There was never time for anything, let alone sitting down and listening my own music, and when there was, I was too stressed and too frazzled to pick a song. I just wanted silence. Pure, blissful silence. A few years later, I had another baby and the craziness of my life – and my craving for silence - deepened. The soundtrack to my life with a baby and a toddler became Raffi and the loud, buzzing white noise of two children constantly pleading and whining, laughing and crying.
Then, I got an iPod. As a former arts reporter for the National Post, knowing the best bands and having the inside scoop on the latest and greatest music was a big part of my life. I didn’t notice how much I’d missed it until I looked at my iPod and realized I no longer knew what kind of music I liked or what song I wanted to download. I didn’t know how to download it either, which made me feel old.
One night, after putting the kids to bed, I tried, bleary-eyed and exhausted, to figure out how to use my iPod, but quickly gave up. I fantasized about a young, sexy man who would come over and show me how to do everything – on my iPod. I just didn’t have the energy to learn something new.
Then, the other day, I was at London Drugs picking up toothpaste when I walked by their electronics department and saw a big display of iPods. I had ten minutes before I had to pick up my daughter from kindergarten and so I ambled over. And there he was. My young, sexy man. I hadn’t bought my iPod at London Drugs, but I started batting my eyelashes and asking questions: how do I search for songs, how do I download movies, how do I get the movies onto my iPod?
Well, within a few minutes, this young thing had made me an iPod expert. I felt confident, sexy and ready to conquer the world. I’m usually wary of new technology, but rediscovering music has helped me, as a mother, rediscover myself. The iPod has been more than a music player; it’s been a metaphor. I’d lost touch with music, with myself, with my soul. Now, I’m getting it back.
Cori Howard is an award-winning journalist and the founder of The Momoir Project. Her writing classes for moms are now taught around the world and her writing workbook for moms is a must-have for all those who want to record their memories before it's too late. She is also the editor of Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth about Motherhood.
What about you? Have you rediscovered a former passion that was lost since having your child(ren)? Share your thoughts in the comments below or email us to contribute your own story for consideration at smwlATsweetspotDOTca.