Guest Blogger

In my previous posts I’ve talked about finding manageability, making my life reflect my values and pacing myself as I make changes in my life. If I were to summarize it all I would say this: my life is often unmanageable, at least in part because the way I spend my time does not reflect my personal values, and I’m striving to change it at a pace that’s sustainable for me.

But how did I get here? What is inspiring me to seek greater manageability, and strive to live with greater intention?

Like most moms, I could list a lot of things. I could mention the fact that I haven’t visited the bathroom by myself in years. I could tell you that the last time I saw a movie in the theatre with my husband was in 2008, the film was Wall-E and we had a three-year-old companion. I could share that my daughter has 18 dresses and I have three. The imbalance in my life is obvious, but it’s not really the reason I’m looking for change. My real inspiration comes from my children.

It’s sort of counter-intuitive, because my kids are the reason that my life is so frequently unmanageable. They are the reason that I don’t remember what it’s like to sleep in and that I could vacuum twice a day and the floor would still be dirty. They are also the reason that I can’t conduct a simple phone call without pausing at least once to answer a very pressing snack-related question. It’s true that life with children is chaotic, but we all know that’s not the whole story. In the midst of the insanity my children inspire me every single day, with their exuberance and their openness and their unbridled passion.

Children live with their whole hearts. Everything they do is authentic and true to themselves. I wish that I had the confidence of my six-year-old as she puts her art out into the world. I wish that I had the resolve of my two-year-old, who falls down and gets back up every single time. Sadly, I have neither. I can’t imagine drawing pictures for my colleagues and handing them out at a meeting as a gift. And when I fall down, I have a tendency to stay down. I use a lot of my mental energy just worrying about falling down, in fact, in spite of the fact that I rarely do.

It’s true that being a mother isn’t always sunshine and roses. But motherhood has taught me more than I ever could have imagined. I am learning how to live the life I was meant to live by watching my children. I think this is the true gift of motherhood, really. Having little people in our lives who, just by being themselves, can teach us how to be ourselves, too. The lessons are all there, underneath the sticky messes, if we just look.

Amber is a crunchy granola mom of two and wife of one. She lives in suburban Vancouver, where she eats a lot of chocolate. Follow her adventures on her blog at Strocel.com, or learn about her course on living with intention at Crafting my Life. Follow @AmberStrocel on Twitter.