About Jennifer Hamilton
Having learned to write before she could walk (or so goes the story), Jennifer Hamilton has finally found an outlet as our SweetMama Editor. Don’t miss her weekly victories and slip-ups as she raises a son who is almost as obstinate and witty as her; using snuggles, derision and propaganda to survive.
My Life Skills Are From Infomercials
mother she wrote: infomercials are educational canada
(Nov.30.11)
Yes. I can attribute every last one of my life skills to infomercials. You see immediately after I had my son I was admitted to the hospital for two months. I spent a lot of time watching television in those two months since I literally had nothing else to do.
Oh, sure I knitted, I wrote, I talked on the phone and I did some embroidery. I ate and I wrote some more and I had visitors. I did a lot. But during the hours from 7pm to 7am there is literally NOTHING to do in a hospital except talk to nurses. And I did that a lot, but then when they were busy I watched TV.
Here is what I learned about life in those two months:
The Sham-Wow can clean up anything. Have one every ten feet in your house and you will never go wrong.
The Instant Fisherman will allow you to go fishing anytime, anywhere. Good for bonding with your child.
What Odour – along with the Sham Wow would be the perfect thing to have every ten feet in your house. “Ew, what’s that smell, honey?” Spritz, spritz. “What smell? I smell nothing.”
A Touch n Brush is a necessity for those of us with husbands who are messy in the bathroom. It will literally save our marriages.
Nads will ensure I am never embarrassed to leave the house again.
And, last but certainly not least, the Slap Chop…well, it will do everything for me so I no longer have to.
And now we return to our regularly scheduled programming.