About Nadine Silverthorne
Nadine Silverthorne’s love of journaling began in Grade One with the entry, “I am the greatest dancer!” Two babies (and countless diaper changes) later, she has found her home away from home as editor of SweetMama. Don’t miss her humorous bi-weekly accounts of the joys and pains of working while raising them fabulous.
Silver Linings
silver spoons Canada
(Oct.12.09)
Ah Thanksgiving. The family hoopla, turkey overload and leftover madness... At a time when I should be counting my blessings, I found myself in a funk.
“Lucy has a fever,” our daycare supervisor notified me with a worried look on her face on Thursday evening. For some reason, I wasn’t worried by this news. I’ll just take her home and make her well, I thought. I’m trying not to be an overly paranoid mom. It takes a lot of energy to fight the worry, but I figure it’s best for everyone in the long run if I learn to chill out and trust my instincts.
“I hope she gets better fast so you can have a nice Thanksgiving,” the supervisor noted. Oh, right, that. It hadn’t occurred to me.
I spent the entire weekend with a two-year-old glued to my hip. It reminded me of The Girls, Lori Lansens’ 2005 novel about conjoined twins. I just wanted some bloody space to myself. Just to breathe my own air, you know? To walk, pee and sleep solo -- but it wasn’t in the cards. No other person in the world would do. Just mama. And while I tried to embrace it, after four days of ‘round-the-clock giving, I feel completely drained.
It being the day of thanks and all, I’m trying to act on Carly Cooper’s suggestion to write down five things you’re thankful for each day. It sounds Oprah-ish and hokey, but like most people, when I feel despair I’m not above self-help. (Is it better to be cynical and cool, or kooky and happy? I’ll take the latter.)
1. Help. I’m thankful that I have support, whether it’s faceless Internets sharing the pain on blogs, or my father helping me to warm milk at 5 am after throwing a huge family party. I am not alone.
2. My husband. 10+ years together and we’re still trying to figure out how to work as a team, but I cannot imagine doing this parenting gig without him.
3. Our healthcare system. While I might curse it should I need to spend a day in the ER waiting room, I know that if something goes wrong, help is available in a variety of ways. (And I never have to worry about how to pay for that care.)
4. Living in a country where a mother can do what she loves. I joke about wanting Betty Draper’s life, but, in all seriousness, I realize the good fortune of having options and choices.
5. Fall drives. There’s really nothing better than taking the scenic route in October. Except maybe getting out and hearing the crunching of leaves under foot.
What are you feeling grateful for today?
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