About Sweetmama Editor
Nadine Silverthorne’s love of journaling began in Grade One with the entry, “I am the greatest dancer!” Two babies (and countless diaper changes) later, she has found her home away from home as editor of SweetMama. Don’t miss her humorous bi-weekly accounts of the joys and pains of working while raising them fabulous.
Sibling Ribaldry
silver spoons canada
(Sep.20.10)
My opposite-gendered kids (age 5.5 and 3) share a room. They also share a bath.
Reasons why this is awesome:
1. They manage to comfort each other at bedtime and help each other fall (and stay) asleep.
2. I can do one bath (save time and water) and one bedtime (save my sanity).
I could go on about how they play together and make each other laugh, but really, those top two reasons listed make my life (and theirs) so much easier. The other major bonus to doing these major activities together is that I have to be very even with my attention and affections. Which means no one needs to act up and sibling rivalry is kept to a minimum. These two are as close as a brother and sister could be.
That being said, there's a slight downside. Because they are young and curious and often naked around each other, there is an endless supply of penis and bum-bum jokes.
Now to be fair, all this joshing is non-sexual and innocent in nature. But J and I can't help but laugh when Lucy starts talking to Nate's penis ("Hi Mr. Penis!") and perhaps we've been unintentionally encouraging this behaviour. We're a pretty open family. Heck, we're definitely a naked family!
It's caught the attention of our parents, of course. My mother-in-law keeps asking when we're going to move. Sure, we'll need a third bedroom in a year or two, but living in our small two-bedroom creates a dynamic that might not happen if everyone had their own space. (Plus, I like to think that the way we live is very European.)
"You'll have to separate them soon," my own mother chides. "They're are starting to become aware of their bodies." But why break up the party now? Shouldn't I trust my gut? Don't I need to tread carefully so as not to send the "our privates are bad" message?
When a similar question came into our Ask an Expert box, we decided to pose the question to parenting expert Alyson Schafer. I've been reading her amazing book Honey, I Wrecked the Kids, and I adore her common sense and caring approach to parenting. I wasn't at all surprised by her answer (that sharing bedtime and bathtime is OK until your child feels uncomfortable), but I was half-tempted to email it to the grandmas.
Still, a little voice was niggling at me. Until another little voice chimed in.
"I wish you could each have your own room," my husband sighed yesterday. I understand his desire to be able to read Nate comic books instead of Robert Munsch on occasion, or to give Lucy a pink décor overhaul. (He's a good daddy. The best.)
"But I CAN'T sleep without Lucy!" Nate protested. "And she can't sleep without me. When she's upset that Mama said goodnight, I tell her, 'Shhh... it's OK Lucy. Mama's just downstairs doing laundry.' And she goes to sleep!"
And that's all I needed to hear.