About Sweetmama Editor
Nadine Silverthorne’s love of journaling began in Grade One with the entry, “I am the greatest dancer!” Two babies (and countless diaper changes) later, she has found her home away from home as editor of SweetMama. Don’t miss her humorous bi-weekly accounts of the joys and pains of working while raising them fabulous.
New Year's Resolutions for Kids
silver spoons: new year's resolutions canada
(Dec.29.10)
Like many of you, I always have a long list of resolutions each year that are doomed to fail before the clock even strikes 12. But now that my kids are older and more aware (read: asking a lot of questions), I hate the thought of publicly setting goals and then (even more publicly) failing at them. I want to set a positive example, to let them know that we are constantly evolving and that even if we make mistakes or poor choices, we can work hard to turn them around.
One of my online heroes, Leo Barbauta at Zen Habits, has a great post up highlighting why most resolutions fail. For example, we don't focus on one at a time, we make too many, etc. It's a great read for anyone looking to set some achievable goals in 2011.
Also, as children grow up, they may want to join in on the resolution party. I suspect that my precocious eldest would be into setting some resolutions as a family. But where to begin? When I don't know how to approach something big like that, I ask a parenting expert (perk of the job). Here's what family therapist Jennifer Kolari of Connected Parenting suggests when it comes to children and resolutions.
What makes a good resolution? A resolution should be something that you have to strive for, but that can be achievable. It should be something that the child comes up with and that he or she feels is important. Kids sometimes come up with some really outrageous goals – but don’t automatically dismiss them. Help them to come up with a related resolution that they can achieve.
What kinds of resolutions are appropriate for kids? Really great resolutions for kids are ones that focus on kindness or taking care of others. For example, helping Grandma more, or taking better care of the family pet. Environmental goals like planting trees or committing to recycling are also good for school-aged children. And behavioural goals like choosing to eat healthier foods or participating in more social activities and less video games are also realistic.
How do you ensure that the experience is positive and doesn’t fuel disappointment? Remember to check your own agenda. If you see that your child isn’t making progress, ask them about what’s getting in the way and work with them to find possible ideas for getting back on track. Try not to put them on the defensive by stating that they aren’t doing a good job. Opening a conversation will help you both to understand better what the challenges are, and to come up with a plan for getting back on track. The absolute worst thing you can do is to compare them to another family member who might be doing a better job.
Set family goals. Along with individual resolutions, also set family goals that you come up with together. They can be as simple as deciding to clean out the basement, or ongoing goals like resolving to get more involved in a local community initiative. Make sure that everyone has their say, and that each family member agrees.
You can read more of Jennifer Kolari's wisdom in her book, Connected Parenting: How to Raise a GREAT Kid. In the meantime, I have to decide which of my resolutions to focus on first:
1. Go to bed between 10 and 11pm every night (I'm a night owl and don't sleep enough).
2. Stop biting my nails. (This will be my 20th New Year starting with this resolution).
3. Make a budget and stick to it. (Don't even get me started...)
OK, help me decide. Which one should I do every day for 30 days in January (as per Zen Habits' advice for resolution success)?