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About Sweetmama Editor

Nadine Silverthorne’s love of journaling began in Grade One with the entry, “I am the greatest dancer!” Two babies (and countless diaper changes) later, she has found her home away from home as editor of SweetMama. Don’t miss her humorous bi-weekly accounts of the joys and pains of working while raising them fabulous.

Is the Secret to Happier Parenting Doing Less?

silver spoons: do parents try too hard? canada (May.11.11)    


There has been no shortage of "news" on parenting this past year.

First came the news that parenting doesn't make us happier.

Then we met Tiger Mom, with her "y'all are too soft" attitude to parenting.

Now a new book is getting some attention. Written by father and economist, Bryan Caplan, Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent Is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think basically argues that we'd all be happier parents (and therefore have more kids to fuel the future economy) if we just realized how little control we have over who our kids ultimately turn out to be.

I heard his interview with Anna-Maria Tremonti on CBC's The Current and also read his Tralee Pearce interview in the Globe. Using statistics and studies, the father of eight-year-old twins and an 18-month-old, makes a strong argument for the fact that all our efforts to produce exceptional children are ultimately only good at making us tired, overwhelmed and unhappy.  He suggests that nature wins out over nurture (using studies of twins and adoptive children as evidence) and you can't ultimately control who your offspring are going to be, so just accept them for who they are and move on. The implication is that once we let go of some of our ideals around perfect parenting, we'd be happier and thus more likely to have lots of kids.

So what do you think? Are we trying too hard? What is the key to parental happiness?

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