About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
Do You REALLY Understand Me?
eckler plus one canada
(Sep.17.09)
Do anyone but mothers really understand what a mother goes through?
I had wondered this after I had maybe – but just maybe – unreasonably hung up on the man I’m seeing. (I have always had a problem hanging up on people. It’s immature, I know, but sometimes it just feels so damn good!)
It was the day before school. I had woken Rowan up, fed her, got her dressed, and helped brush her teeth and hair. We were out the door by 9 a.m. We had so much to do, and so little time.
Our first stop was to buy a new knapsack and lunch box at Oink Oink. Our second stop was to buy a birthday present for her friend’s birthday pool party later that afternoon. Our third stop was to buy new uniforms.
(Just for the record, I’m not the only mother who leaves things to the last minute, thank god. The uniform store was packed. This made me feel better.)
By the time we got to Grand & Toy, our fourth stop, after driving around the city, for three hours, I practically thrust my BlackBerry to the sales clerk, showing him the e-mail the teacher sent out, with the long list of MUST HAVE school supplies.
Then it was off to lunch, at McDonald’s. My kid had to eat! We had just enough time to race home, get her changed into her swimsuit, before making it to the birthday party on time.
Later that afternoon, I returned calls from the music school, the Hebrew school, and the private piano teacher I had called to sign my daughter up for lessons. I also filled out all the school forms that were about a month late. I packed her school bag and her snack for school.
It was one of those days that only a mother could understand. I felt like I deserved a “Mother of The Year Award” after all I had accomplished.
Other mothers, I’m sure, can understand how I was exhausted by dinner. After I had fed Rowan, and gave her a bath, I finally had the chance to call the man I’m seeing, who’s away on a work vacation in a tropical destination.
“How was your day?” I asked gloomily, trying to sound upbeat.
“It was great!” he responded, as happy as Paris Hilton is with herself. “I did some writing. I went for a swim. I read. I made myself an amazing dinner. Now I’m going to watch a movie and eat watermelon.”
A mother, who had been through the day I had just been through, certainly could understand that not only was I jealous, but I was bitter. I didn’t even have chance to write one sentence of my book and the deadline is looming. Instead I was at Grand & Toy and filling out forms for school,
for Pete’s sake.
I hurriedly hung up, professing I had to get my daughter into bed at a reasonable hour, so I could get her up the next morning, which was true. I’m not sure I said goodbye. Sigh.
Of course, after hanging up on him, I immediately called my best mother friend to moan about my day and how NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME. She
listened patiently and told me she was out getting groceries.
“It’s ten o’clock at night!” I said.
She, too, had been running around all day, picking up last minute school supplies and driving her kids to and from various playdates.
So, it’s not just single mothers, I moaned, who have these days.
“Are you kidding? My husband had one thing to do, and that was pick up school supplies and he didn’t even manage to do that.,” she told me.
“I’m just so exhausted,” I said. I think I may have dozed off in mid-conversation.
“I know how you feel,” she said, before telling me that I should try to be more understanding, because even her husband has never really understand all she does in a day for her children.
I felt bad about hanging up. I know he says he’s trying to understand what it’s like to have a child, but, really, I don’t think he can. Why? Because he's not a mother! I am trying to be happy for him. (I just wish he hadn't been SO happy after the day I had. I mean, play it down buddy!)
I’ve learned a lesson though. I should only speak to other mothers when I have one of those days. Then, maybe, I’ll stop hanging up on people who are on tropical vacations.
Previous Articles:
Hooked Up
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eckler plus one