About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
Off Balance Days
eckler plus one canada
(Oct.15.09)
One of my favorite blogs on this site is Carly Cooper’s Balance the Mother Load. I read it religiously, because I have something called “hope.”
I’ve been OFF balance for 2190 days straight. That’s a lot of days, my friends.
My daughter is six today. Every night since her birth I’ve said to myself, “Rebecca, tomorrow is going to be the day you’re going to get it together. You’re going to figure out how to balance motherhood with career with personal happiness.”
It hasn’t happened. I’ve looked everywhere for this thing called “balance,” which I can’t seem to find. (Along with my health card. Anyway…)
Clearly vacations, yoga, having a part-time nanny and helpful parents... none of these things have helped me balance, nor has trying to work at night, or early mornings, around my daughter’s schedule. I just feel like getting down on my knees sometimes and screaming, “Dear God, what is the secret?”
I followed Carly’s suggestion to write down a list of things I was grateful for. After all this time, could the secret lay in jotting down notes?
The day I decided to write down what I was grateful for, my daughter came home from school with a stomach ache, resulting in me cancelling a date with the man I’m seeing for, oh, I don’t know, the 80th time, missing my book deadline, and having to race out to buy ginger ale at rush hour.
You understand why my list started with, “I’m grateful I wasn’t hit by a bus today.”
Unlike me, Carly doesn’t have the added worry of dating on top of everything else.
My guy is understanding, to say the least. If some guy cancelled on me as many times as I’ve cancelled on him, I’d be saying, “See ya later alligator.”
I wish sometimes I could fast forward three years, to the point I didn’t have to pretend to be in a good mood around the guy, when, really, I’m a complete stress case. I know, I know, the grass is always greener. And at least I’m getting some action, according to married friends.
But I have to prioritize. My daughter comes first. My career comes second at this point, if only because I have to finish this book. Being a good girlfriend? It’s too much pressure! Something has got to give! Obviously, that’s not going to be my daughter, or my passion for writing.
Does that mean I should give up the man? It can’t be! I know the answer to balancing must be somewhere. Maybe I’ll find tomorrow, on day 2091? Like I said, I have hope.
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