About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
Divorce Sucks
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(Nov.05.09)
I asked Mary Jo Eustace the question everyone wants to know: “What did you ever see in him?” I asked, about her ex-husband, Dean McDermott, at an intimate gathering to celebrate the launch of her book, Divorce Sucks: My husband left me for Tori Spelling and you thought your divorce sucked!
Oh, yes, I most certainly did. Gosh, anyone who has witnessed Tori and Dean’s reality show must have asked this.
Is Dean good-looking? A good actor? Smart? Funny? Mature? Debatable. Debatable. Debatable. Debatable. Debatable.
What is not debatable is the horrendous way he left Eustace -- after three weeks on a movie set with Spelling, proceeded to get engaged with the former Donna Martin within months, and then go on to have a very public gag-worthy love-fest with his new wife and new children on a reality show (which I watch and sometimes enjoy).
Honestly, I’m not sure I would have gotten through it if I had been Mary Jo.
At first, I wondered about a woman who would write a book, seeming to bank only on the fact that her husband left her for Tori Spelling. But, after talking with Mary Jo, I realized that doesn’t really matter. I’m a pretty good “reader” of people, and Mary Jo seems like a good, honest person.
What matters is women seem to really appreciate knowing and hearing about someone else’s divorce and that you can, indeed, get through it. As Mary Jo says about divorce, “It’s an ass-kicking experience. It’s a horrendous thing to go through. If you can come back stronger, that’s a major thing.”
Plus, I learn, she didn’t come up with the title. “The book was sent to me. I looked at it and saw the cover and I thought, ‘OK, I guess that’s it.’ I think it also shows a bit that I’m in on the joke.”
If you’re looking for really juicy tidbits on Tori, you aren’t going to find it. This possibly had to do with the fact her publishers don’t want to be sued, but I actually believe Mary Jo was looking out for the best interests of her children by not dishing. Sad for us voyeuristic readers, yes, but it actually makes me think Mary Jo really did think about the effects a book like this would have. Which also makes me like her.
One needs to remember (which I don’t think Dean did/does) that when it comes to divorce, even in Hollywood, there are real lives, hearts, and consequences to your actions, especially in public.
I asked Mary Jo about meeting Tori Spelling and why that tabloid-worthy event took place. “He wouldn’t let me leave the country unless I met her,” she tells me.
Do I think this book is well written? It doesn’t matter. I think anyone who is going through a divorce should buy it, simply because it does make you feel better. It’s inspiring.
So, how did Mary Jo get through the past three years? “Misery is a powerful motivator,” she answers.
As for the question, “What did she ever see in Dean?” Obviously, it’s a question she hasn’t been asked, at least not by the press. “What did I see in him?” she repeats thoughtfully. She has a hard time coming up with an answer. “I guess he was charismatic,” she answers, after a while. “But, obviously, the characteristics that came out were always there, under the surface.”
This is not a Team Tori vs. Team Mary Jo thing (like Team Aniston vs. Team Jolie). Mary Jo has won, because she seems to be in a good place. And to that I say, I admire you.
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