About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
Motor Potty Mouth
eckler plus one canada
(Dec.03.09)
I rarely swear, but I do have a potty mouth. I have Mother Potty Mouth (MPM).
“I had a thought this morning while I was pooing,” I told the man I’m seeing, when we talked on the phone later that afternoon. I’ve known him for a while now, sure, but that’s not why I felt comfortable saying this to him.
“Oh, god,” he responded. “We really need to talk about this.”
By “talking about this,” he was referring to the fact I seem to announce to him – A LOT – that “I have to poo.” Each and every time I say the word “poo,” he says, “We really need to talk about this.”
(Please stop asking yourself, “What could any guy possibly see in Rebecca?” after reading the above paragraphs. I have a lot of good qualities, like a wicked sense of humor and, um, I’m not an alcoholic.)
The man I am seeing does not have children. Which is why I always tell him to “get over it” after I announce what I’m about to do, or just have done, and he responds with, “We really have to talk about this,” or huffs, “Why do you have to tell me this?”
See, he just hasn’t hung around children enough. Whenever my daughter tells me she has a stomachache, I ask her if she has to “poo?” Whenever she leaves a washroom, I ask her if she pooed? (I just feel I need to know this information for some reason.)
Just as often, my daughter announces she has to poo, or that she needs to poo, and sometimes that it’s not “coming out.” She likes to discuss the difference between diarrhea and plain poo. It’s a conversation I don’t mind having either. Honestly, I’ve been to dinner parties where the conversation is way less interesting.
The fact that my daughter is so comfortable talking about her bowel movements, has made me so comfortable talking about it too. (This coming from a woman who, before I had Rowan, always lived by a closed-washroom door policy in all of my relationships, no matter how long we had been together.)
My daughter watches me go to the washroom just as I’ve watched her go to the washroom (and held her hand while doing so, and also wipe her butt.)
Once you’ve actually had to wipe up a really bad #2 accident, talking about poo is a breeze in comparison.
I realize, too, that my girlfriends and I have reached a whole new level of friendship, after we became mothers. We tell each other all the time very personal information about stomach issues and other gross ailments we have, or our children have. Honestly, it’s not strange at all to have one of my friends tell me about her bowel movements, as if we’re talking about the weather.
Sure, dating a woman with MPM may not always be that sexy, but it’s who I am. Or at least who I’ve become. And, really, even the Queen does it. So, feel free, talk to me about anything. I mean it. ANYTHING.
Thought that was sweet? You'll enjoy: