About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
Snorer
eckler plus one canada
(Jan.21.10)
I’ve come to the conclusion that, at least for people like me, when it comes to meeting The One, the MOST important question you should be interested in knowing is…DOES HE SNORE?
Forget “Has he been married?” Or, “What does he do for a living?” when people try to fix you up or you’re on Internet dating sites. If you’re like me, the most important thing you need to know is if he snores.
Not that I’m looking to be fixed up, but the other day my friend asked me if I’d like to be fixed up with a guy who has his own business, is funny, and is open to having more children. I ate my tofu dish thinking, “I wonder if this funny man who owns his own business -- and is open to having more children -- snores?”
Yup, I’m now having sleepovers in the bed of my partner/boyfriend’s/dude-I-hang-out with, when my daughter sleeps at my parent’s house (She LOVES sleeping at her Bubby and Zaida's!)
The problem is, on a good night in my own home, I’m a light sleeper. I’m such a light sleeper I can hear my BlackBerry vibrate downstairs in my purse, even though I’m upstairs in bed with the door closed and a noise machine on.
So, imagine my horror to learn my partner/boyfriend/dude-I-hang-out with is a snorer! Unfortunately, apparently, to move a relationship forward you HAVE to do sleepovers...regularly. Apparently it brings you “closer” or something.
I have had sleepovers with five men in my entire life and that includes the two men I’ve lived with, one semi-serious relationship, and two one-night-stands. Because I’m such a light sleeper, I hate sleepovers. And, seriously, every single time I sleep at a man’s house, they ALWAYS turn out to be snorers.
And here’s the thing: No man EVER says to you beforehand, “Oh, by the way, I snore.” Which would be nice.
In fact, when you wake up and the dude asks how you slept and you give him a glare that could freeze water into ice and grunt, “Sleep? I barely slept. You snored all night!” the person always responds with, “No I didn’t. I don’t snore.”
Um, yeah, YOU DO. I know because I listened to you snore ALL NIGHT LONG!
Snorers never admit they snore. I mean, why not come on out with it? Lie to me and say you like children, but probably could do without them. Tell me you don’t have commitment issues, when you really do. I don’t care. But, when it comes to snoring, please, just be up front. I mean, has no one EVER told you before that you snore?
Snoring, I know, can’t be a deal breaker. “If we ever lived together,” my partner/boyfriend/dude-I-hang-out with sighed, “I guess we’d have to sleep in different bedrooms.”
Um, yeah. Definitely. NO doubt about THAT. I can’t function without sleep and to be in a serious relationship, as I’ve said, you have to live with the person. But do you really have to share a bed?
Or maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about because I’m so tired. I don’t have to explain why.