About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
Is anyone a stage mother out there? I’m just curious because I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT!
My daughter had to “audition” for something recently, and though she sort of knew it was important, I tried to play down how important it was. (These auditions only happen once a year and only get harder as they get older.)
I won’t say what the “audition” was for. (It has nothing to do with reality television/movies or anything like that! I’m no Jon and Kate Plus Eight. Or Kate minus John. Or whatever they are now called.) But I realized that, for a half an hour as the audition took place, I turned into someone I didn’t like.
The parents of the children auditioning were allowed to watch for the second half of the audition. I sat there, on a chair, next to all of the other parents. I bit my nails. My heart was pounding. Now, I’m a pretty competitive person (I will play ping pong with you and we will not stop until I win!) but my daughter is not. Which I’m thankful for. I don’t necessarily like overly competitive people (like myself). Of course, I do think having a “healthy” sense of competition is important. For adults anyway. I mean, if you’re going to do something, why not be the best you can be?
But when it came to watching my daughter audition, I realized that not only was I watching her with eagle eyes to see how she was doing, but I was also checking out the competition (children). I was trying to see if the other children auditioning were better or worse than my child.
It wasn’t my most glowing moment. I actually hated myself for it. Also, I was watching the three “judges” – if that’s what they were called – to see if they were paying attention to my daughter. At one point, I felt like screaming, “LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER.” At another point, I wanted to yell out to my daughter, “SMILE!” (Of course, I didn’t.)
Again, not my best moments. After, I told my daughter that she did an amazing job, which I think she did. At least she did her best, and that’s good enough.
But I realize that I can’t be a stage mother. It’s not good for me. I think I’m still traumatized. I think about mothers of people like Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears and I think, “Um, no thanks!”
My daughter was not traumatized at all. She had fun auditioning. And since she loves American Idol, all she said to me was, “I hope I make it to the next round.”
Well, there really isn’t a next round. But, anyway, I do hope she gets in. But, I promise, I won’t be a stage mom. I’ll be on the sidelines, thinking happy thoughts about all the children.
Do you mothers have tips for the fine line of wanting your children to succeed, but not being competitive?