About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
I’ve had to re-program my child.
I felt like one of those experts who was hired by a parent after their kid got caught up in a cult. Except this time, it was me who did the intervention and the cult was “The Cult of Spoiledness.”
Last week, my daughter spent five days with her grandparents in Arizona. During those five days, the one word my daughter did not hear was, “No.”
Now, to be fair, this set of grandparents live in a different city. Rowan is their only grandchild, and they are super-generous and adore her. (Bonus: I don’t think I have to buy Rowan any new clothes for the rest of the summer.) And, in some ways, I exonerate grandparents from spoiling. It’s kind of their job.
But, needless to say, they spoil her ROTTEN. I actually don’t mind this, because I want my daughter to have the best in life and heck, if they’re going to pay for it, wonderful! Plus, they LOVE spoiling her, so who am I to spoil their fun? But, clearly, I realized after five days, an intervention was needed.
I met Rowan and her grandparents for dinner one night. I hadn’t seen my daughter in a few days and when she ran up to me there were tears in her eyes and her lip was trembling.
“What is wrong?” I asked.
“Grandma wouldn’t buy me something that I really wanted. So I’m not talking to her.”
Gaa! Say what?!?
Grandma backed up this story. “She’s not talking to me because I refused to buy her a baby soother.”
Why the heck my daughter wanted a soother was beyond me. But the point was, for five whole days, she had never heard a “No,” when she asked for anything. I think she was in shock more than anything else that the word “No” could ever come out of her grandparents' mouths. Apparently, after hearing “No” my daughter broke down at the store. I swear, she’s NEVER broken down at a store with me before and I say “No” a lot to her.
Anyway, I realized some damage was done. And by damage I mean that every time we walked into a store – even if it was a candle store – my daughter asked, “Can we buy something?” (Argh!)
So, when we got back from our visit, I had to reprogram my daughter. We would walk into a store and before she could even open her mouth I’d say, “Don’t even bother asking. It will be a waste of breath.”
I think I got her just in time. She’s back to her old self, OK with hearing the word “No.”
Until the next visit with the grandparents, that is.
Do your child's grandparents spoil your children? How do you handle it? Ever have to deprogram a child from a weekend with Grandma?