Rebecca Eckler

In this day and age, how much is too much to share with your children? From a young age, my daughter Rowan knew what a tampon was. (Hint: They make very cheap baby toys. She’d play with them, rolling them on the floor, for hours! She has seen me put in and take out tampons. She comes with me when I get my Brazilian waxes. We shower together. 

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a party for Caitlin Cronenberg’s book of photography, called Poser. The photos, all nudes, are spectacular. 

Now my daughter has seen me nude every day. And she’s seen her dad nude. And naked babies. But, while I’m an adult and can see the beauty in naked men and women and their expressions in photographs, I’m not sure about my daughter.

I arrived home from the party, with Poser in hand. (If you go to a book launch, buy the book. We’re not giving you free drinks for nothing!) I left it on the stairs. My daughter found it the next morning. While waiting for her camp bus, we flipped through Poser together.

“How come he has earrings in his PENIS?” my daughter screeched, and we both giggled like schoolgirls.  

ME: EWW! OH MY GOD THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURTS!

(When my father came over that night, my daughter raced to show him the photo of the man with three penis rings. My dad was more shocked than my daughter. My dad, however, was pretty good when I got a belly piercing at 16.) 

Last week, I was doing an interview with a transsexual. She came to my house, where we sat in my backyard. She was over much longer than anticipated because we were having such a good time. Then my daughter’s camp bus arrived home. 

I certainly wasn’t going to hide the transsexual! Could you imagine? (“MY DAUGHTER IS HOME! GO OUT THE BACK DOOR! QUICK!”) I mean, my friend just happens to be transitioning and is as much as a lady as I am, with better makeup. (In fact, she’s more of a lady.) So introductions were made to my daughter. Plus, my friend is so brave. And I think because she is so brave, going through what she is, she is in some way a role model. 

My daughter knew she was once a man, because of my friend’s voice, which is still a little deep. And we once saw a transsexual at a movie theatre, so I’ve had the discussion about transgendered people with my daughter already. My daughter wasn’t fazed at all about meeting my friend. She just continued eating her soup.

Anyway, we have gay dads. We have gay mothers. The world, my friends, has changed. And I’m more like, well, people are people, so why should it be, you and I get along so awfully. (Depeche Mode, bien sur!)