About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
When was the last time you did something that terrified you? I don’t mean taking your child to the doctor to get a needle, or sending them to overnight camp.
I’m talking about doing something that terrifies you and has nothing to do with your child. One of the silver linings of separation is that I don’t have my daughter for the month of August. Yes, this makes me sad, but it is my reality (and I get her the other 11 months of the year!).
This August, while my daughter spends time with her Dad, I’ve decided to do something I haven’t done in a long time. I’m tossing clothes into a suitcase, heading to the airport, and flying to New York.
I plan to stay in New York for a month. I was feeling something the other day while thinking about this spontaneous trip. I felt a mix of angst and worry. I know the address of the apartment I’m subletting. I have a handful of acquaintances and one really good friend there. But that’s it.
Pre-child, I moved to New York for a few months, not knowing anyone. I was so excited. I didn’t care about not knowing anyone. I had always wanted to live in New York. It didn’t disappoint. I met people. I felt at home in New York.
In university, I got an internship at the Calgary Herald for the summer, and packed up, not knowing how to write a newspaper article, and, quite frankly, not having heard of this place called Calgary. I didn’t know anyone. But I found a place, met friends, and wrote my heart out. I had the time of my life.
Then I became a mother. When my daughter Rowan was a baby, I took her to Maui solo for two months and also Arizona for a month. I wasn’t scared at all, even though I knew no one in either of those places. I learned to drive all over Scottsdale and Maui. I was brave then.
But, over the years, as your children grow up and they need to attend school regularly and be at dance classes on Saturdays, you can’t just pick up and leave for weeks at a time. I also realized, somewhere over time, I’ve become a scaredy cat. I’m not as brave as I once was.
When you’re young (and not a mother) you just do. When you’re older (and a mother) you think. You start thinking if it’s a good or bad idea, what could go wrong, if you’ll have fun and why are you doing this. I realized I was scared to go solo to New York. I couldn’t really describe my feeling. It was just something I felt in my head and heart. Then it hit me. What I was feeling, yes, was scared. But, mostly, I’m feeling so damn excited. It was how I used to feel when I just took off solo pre-child.
Tell me: What’s the last thing you’ve done to terrify and excite yourself after becoming a mother? Bungee Jumping? A solo trip to a foreign place? Motorcycle riding? Because, you know what? It’s good to be scared. BOO!
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