About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
My boyfriend and his daughters are now spending a lot of time at my house with my daughter and me. We have sleepovers, with all of us, at least a couple times a week. And it’s working out brilliantly for the most part. The kids all get along. It feels like a family.
But, it can be tricky. Especially when it comes to House Rules.
You see, my boyfriend has different House Rules for all the children at his home than I do for them at my home. For example, when my daughter and I go to his place, all the children must hang their coats, clean their own dishes after dinner, and shoes must remain in the mudroom. In my house, coats are thrown on the floor, shoes can be anywhere, and generally (no judgment) I don’t eat at the same time as my daughter and my nanny clears up after her. However, I’ve learned that I do have House Rules that don’t jive with my boyfriend’s House Rules. This mostly comes down to food.
“Can I open that Sprite and have some?” one of my boyfriend’s daughters asked. “Sure,” I said. The bottle of Sprite was only in my house because a friend who came over to visit brought it.
“Can I have some too mommy?” my daughter asked. “No,” I answered plainly.
“Why can’t she have any?” my boyfriend’s daughter asked.
“Because she doesn’t drink pop. Too much sugar and other bad stuff,” I responded. Luckily, I have an angel of a child, who didn’t care and drank her apple juice instead, without argument. Another incident occurred when we were having a chicken dinner and my boyfriend’s daughter wanted a glass of milk. She poured herself a glass and my daughter then wanted milk.
“No, you can’t have milk,” I told my daughter, to which, of course, my boyfriend’s daughters wondered why.
“Because we don’t drink milk with meat,” I answered. My boyfriend explained it was a religious thing, which it is, and, again, my angel of a daughter didn’t fight and just drank her water. The plan, of course, at our age, is that we will eventually move in together, which means we will be eating a lot together. Also, my boyfriend loves junk food (so do I) but the difference is, he lets his kids suck on lollipops and chew bubble gum and eat a lot of cupcakes, where I don’t let my daughter eat barely any candy (which works out well, because she doesn’t actually like candy!). So, if we’re all together, it just feels kind of weird when I let his daughter drink soda pop and I refuse to let my daughter drink it.
Should they follow my house rules of no meat and milk? I’m not sure. I lean more towards letting his kids do what they normally do, and continuing raising my daughter as I always have. At least the one thing we both agree on, in both houses, is bedtime. All children must be in bed by 8:15, read for 15 minutes and then it’s lights out. Thoughts and advice please?
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