Rebecca Eckler

One of my friends called the other day, distraught because she had to ground her son for the very first time. He’s nine years old and used, um, R-rated language at school. His punishment was no television for two weeks.

When we talked about it, I couldn’t help but ask how she was going to get through it. “I know,” she said. “That means he’ll have so much more time on his hands. Which will only drive me nuts.” I saw her point. But I was fascinated with how people ground or punish their kids in this age of technology. I asked my friend if “no TV” included no computer, no Ipad, no Wii? “Well, I haven’t gotten into that much detail with him,” she said.

I know I had planted the seed. I mean, really, what’s the point of no TV if her child could still log on to the computer, still play games on his Ipad, and play Wii on the television, which is using the television but not watching television shows. Punishing kids, or grounding kids these days, seems so much more complicated thanks to all the technical gadgets out there. But if she did punish him with no TV, no Ipad, no Wii, and no other handheld games, then that would really be a punishment.

But I felt for my friend. Because if that was going to be the case, then punishing her child, who also wasn’t allowed play dates, was also going to punish her. Her son doesn’t read. He doesn’t do arts and crafts. He doesn’t play with action figures. All the kid could do when he gets home from school is homework, but once that’s done, my friend worried, then what? She doesn’t know what to do, or what her own son will do, for all those hours at home. I told her she should think of a big project for him, like painting, but really, you can’t have a nine-year-old painting because that will most likely end up causing more damage. She said that maybe she’ll take him to a movie on the weekend, and I asked, “But doesn’t that ruin the whole point of his grounding?” Even she couldn’t think of something for her son to do during his punishment.

So, I ask you on behalf of my friend, who is now regretting the two-week grounding length, how do you punish or ground your kids these days? Do you allow them to use the IPad but not watch television? And maybe the punishment should be more severe but for a shorter length of time? What and how do you punish your children with when they do something majorly wrong that demands a punishment? I’m stumped!

Follow me at @rebeccaeckler.

Image:John-Morgan/Flickr

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