About Rebecca Eckler
Since becoming pregnant with her daughter Rowan, Canadian journalist and author Rebecca Eckler has penned three hilarious books, including the best-selling Knocked Up. Catch Rebecca’s weekly unique perspective on motherhood and single parenthood.
I had my first experience with “Fakeitous.” “Fakeitous” is the word one of my mother friends uses when she knows her child is faking sick to get out of going to school or get her to come pick him up at school in the middle of the day. Symptoms of “fakeitous” are pretty simple. Meaning, you can’t see any symptoms. They include stomachaches, headaches, and children who say they feel nauseous.
My daughter’s “fakeitous” occurred on the day she had to go back to school after a two-week holiday break. On the car ride to school, she said, “I really don’t want to go to school today. I wish we were still on vacation.” I, of course, responded, “Yeah, well, I wish we were still on vacation too. Do you think I want to go to work?”
But it was the first time ever that my daughter professed that she didn’t want to go to school. So I was a little worried. Sure enough, not even twenty minutes after I got back home, I received a call from the school nurse, who told me my daughter was with her and that she had a stomachache. Now, since I’m her mother and know her better than anyone else in the world, I knew that she was just suffering from nerves. I got on the phone with her, had a brief pep talk, and she was fine. So that was my first case of “fakeitous.”
You know your child is really sick when they have a fever, are coughing non-stop, and have a really bad cold (to the point where you have to help them blow their nose, or help them actually throw up). The one problem with “fakeitous,” though you may lean towards knowing they are making their sickness up, or that they really aren’t that sick, is that you can't help but wonder if it is true. Do they really have a stomachache? Do they really have a headache? Are they really feeling nauseous?
This time, I did know that it was a case of “fakeitous” because I never heard back from the school and my daughter came home as chipper as anything. I don’t like the thought of not trusting your own child, but sometimes (or most of the time) mothers do know best. Have you ever had a case of “fakeitous” in your home? Do share!
Follow me at @rebeccaeckler.
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