Though we resolved not to make any resolutions this year (for fear of letting ourselves down yet again), it seems we’re bound to this life-long laundry list of self-improvement. So we’re dealing the best way we know how: Laughing at ourselves.
Get Smaller
We don’t need scientific polls (or Valerie Bertinelli) to tell us that losing weight is probably the most common resolution of all time. But we have to laugh at how it’s morphed into cleanses and elimination diets, as “getting healthier” becomes the PC code for “getting skinnier.”
Get Less Broke
Nothing makes Sweetmamas sadder than having to put their credit cards on ice (like literally in the freezer). Escaping debt and saving dough would be easier if we could cut our addiction to lattes and US Weekly (though we’d rather blame our daycare costs and dependence on disposable diapers).
Get Rid of Bad Habits
We want to stop tearing at our cuticles, laughing at the expense of others, eating mayo out of the jar – but in good times and bad, these vices have been by our side. Should we be so harsh as to oust our faithful crutches?
Get a Life
We want to do more volunteering, spend more time for family, be more spontaneous, better manage our stress… but we forget to schedule in the answer to our many woes: more sleep. (Because that would mean we’ve given up.)
Get Fit
Having abs of steel is hard work. It’s so much easier to blame the children, our poor genetics or the supermodels for our Buddha bellies and muffin-tops.